We’ve all heard it: “Make time for self-care.”
It’s splashed across magazines, Instagram posts, and wellness campaigns. Long baths, a 10-step skincare routine, yoga classes, early nights with herbal tea, the message is clear. If you just carve out time for yourself, you’ll feel better.
And while there’s truth in that, somewhere along the way self-care got tangled up in another message too: that it’s something you have to do alone.
When I first began leaning into self-care, I clung to that idea. I thought, if I can just have enough solo rituals, I’ll finally feel restored. But here’s the reality: even when I carved out the time, even when I managed the rituals, something still felt missing.
Because self-care is grounding but on its own, it can also feel isolating.
The truth is, we were never meant to do life alone. We weren’t designed to carry every burden by ourselves, or to face burnout with nothing but a face mask and a bubble bath. Self-care helps us function. It gives us the pause button our nervous systems crave. But it isn’t the whole picture.
Without connection, comfort, or the sense of being supported by others, self-care can actually turn into another pressure. Another thing on the list. Another standard we feel we’re not meeting.
That’s why I think of self-care as the foundation but not the whole house. Yes, you need it. Yes, it matters. But to feel whole, we also need community. We need the kind of care that extends beyond ourselves.
So if you’ve ever tried self-care and thought, why doesn’t this feel like enough? maybe it’s because it isn’t meant to be. We need both grounding and connection to thrive.
